What to Do When You’re Caught in a Lie (Even an Unintentional One) (2024)

FAQs

What to do if you accidentally lied? ›

The only way lying can be unintentional is if you convey information that you believe is true, but it is false. You did not mean to deceive. Lying in general is conscious, whether it is a blatant lie to keep you out of trouble, or is a social lie meant to spare another's feelings.

Because there is no intent to deceive and nothing to be gained, confabulation is sometimes referred to as “honest lying” by researchers. Confabulation usually happens after a brain injury, whether from trauma, a stroke, or a tumor. The woman described by Dr. Schnider had bleeding in her brain from a ruptured aneurysm.

The bottom line. It's possible to rebuild a relationship after a breach of trust. Whether it's worth it depends on your relationship needs and whether you feel it's possible to trust your partner again. If you do decide to try repairing things, be prepared for things to take some time.

It is always better to speak the truth than making up lies. If you committed the mistake of lying to your partner, confessing that is the best and wisest thing to do.

Research indicates pathological lying can occur because of low self-esteem and a false sense of self. People who lie pathologically may want others to view them positively, making things up to make them look better. Their desire to create a false sense of self could indicate that they are unhappy with themselves.

In some cases, pathological lying can be a result of childhood trauma, such as neglect or abuse. People who did not get their needs met as children may begin lying as a coping mechanism, in an attempt to get the love and reassurance they crave.

Pathological lying, also known as mythomania and pseudologia fantastica, is the chronic behavior of compulsive or habitual lying. Unlike telling the occasional white lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings or getting in trouble, a pathological liar seems to lie for no apparent reason.

Example: A child who is constantly humiliated by their uncle tells an unintentional lie that the uncle is dead (even if he is alive) when their uncle is asked about in conversation. The emotion triggering this lie is that the child feels uncomfortable with the presence of their uncle.

These words all describe telling someone something that is not true in order to deceive that person. The most common word for this is lie. Lie can be used to describe just one statement, or a pattern of behaviour that a person has.

How do I correct a lie? ›

An even more powerful strategy: Tell the truth first. Then identify the lie you're correcting. Present your evidentiary facts and summarize by reiterating, once again, the conclusion of truth.

Rebuilding trust takes a significant amount of time and patience. It might take us several months or even years to fully be able to trust our loved one again. Along the way, we need to continue working on reestablishing trust slowly under the guidance of family counselors.

Lying is not usually enough to create PTSD, but trauma is a real effect of lying. Let's look at the difference between PTSD and trauma, and why lying is more likely to cause trauma than PTSD. Lying in your relationship does not usually cause PTSD because PTSD is triggered by more severe events than trauma.

When we engage in deceit, our respiratory and heart rates increase, we start to sweat, our mouth goes dry, and our voice can shake. Some of these physiological effects form the basis of the classic lie-detector (polygraph) test. People vary in their ability to tell a lie due, in part, to differences in the brain.

Guilt is most likely when the liar shares values and respects the target of the lie. It is much harder to lie or cheat someone who has acted fairly. But if the wages are too low, the spouse cold and inconsiderate, the parent too strict – the liar may feel entitled to cheat, and feel no guilt about doing so.

If a person lies, and is unrepentant about it, you are under no obligation to forgive. If the liar is sorry, you still do not have to forgive. Generally it is a good idea to do so, but the choice is yours. Forgiveness is not automatic just because the other person is sorry.

Some people lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want, and others because they actually believe what they're saying. Either way, confronting the liar is a good place to start dealing with their bad behavior.

There is the red lie, which is a lie one tells to hurt another person or get even.

What is a narcissistic liar? ›

The narcissistic liar

This type of person never admits to making a mistake, even when the mistake could be a growth opportunity for your PR team. He or she is often a "people person" seeking attention when things go right, bragging or exaggerating accomplishments, while being quick to place blame and criticize others.

Even though this doesn't apply to everyone, “If you try to confront them with evidence and proof of the facts, they may be outraged, insulted, and attack you verbally. They may even badmouth you to others and avoid you.”

Experiencing betrayal, a form of emotional abuse, can cause various post-traumatic stress disorder. Symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares and impaired sleeping, depression, anxiety, brain fog, distrust, dissociation, are common.

Lying allows a person to establish perceived control over a situation by manipulating it. It's a defence mechanism that (seemingly) prevents them from being vulnerable, that is, to not open up and reveal their true self to another person.

Sometimes, compulsive lying is connected to a mental health condition, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), bipolar disorder, or borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Lying is a tactic to hide the truth while gaslighting shifts blame. When someone states a false fact, they are essentially trying to prevent you from knowing the true facts. They may not think about the effects or consequences of their action as is the case with compulsive lying.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a delusion is defined as: A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes and despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary.

Lying Pathologically

People who lie pathologically often tell lies about things that don't matter, for no apparent reason. They may do it unconsciously and may not even realize they're lying in the moment, although they can often tell afterward.

A white lie is a lie that is considered harmless or trivial. Such lies are often told to spare hurting someone's feelings.

Something that's unprovoked is done for no good reason, with no real cause.

What are the three common lies? ›

The three most commonly referred to are lies of commission, lies of omission, and lies of influence, aka character lies. The reading below neatly summarizes these and provides some examples.

Definitions of prevarication. the deliberate act of deviating from the truth. synonyms: fabrication, lying.

The adjective verisimilar describes something that appears to be true or real but may not be. If you want to impress your friends, remark on the verisimilar portrait of lost love in that foreign film you all went to see.

noun,plural half-truths [haf-troothz, hahf-]. a statement that is only partly true, especially one intended to deceive, evade blame, or the like. a statement that fails to divulge the whole truth.

Biblical passages

One of the Ten Commandments is "thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour"; for this reason, lying is generally considered a sin in Christianity. The story of Naboth in 1 Kings 21 provides an example where false witness leads to an unjust outcome.

Gray lies were said to consist of lies that were ambiguous in nature or held the characteristics of a real lie yet were still viewed as justifiable given the circ*mstance.

The term "blue lies" was coined to describe lies that police officers told to protect others in the law enforcement community. Lying to protect another officer from punishment was viewed within that community as a morally appropriate defense against outsiders (Barnes, 1994; Bok 1978).

Should I apologize if I did nothing wrong? ›

Even if you did everything right, the appropriate measure should be to apologize. So how do you apologize when you aren't wrong, or rather, if you believe you aren't wrong? Start by acknowledging how the other person feels. Like any other apology, express regret over what happened.

Admitting that what you did was wrong helps them see that you're sincere in your apology. Explain that you've thought about your actions and regret lying to them. As you do this, don't make any excuses for your behavior. You could say, “Lying to you was the wrong thing to do,” or “I know that lying was wrong.”

Admit that what you said was a lie.

Telling someone you made a mistake is scary, but it'll help you make things better. Explain to the person that you told them something that was untruthful. Then, tell them specifically what you said that was a lie. You might say, “I need to tell you that I told you a lie.

Make sure you always and always start your sentences with "I" and no other word. Something like, "I was not honest with you" or "I'm sorry that I did this". Don't even think about blaming your partner in this and making your lie look like your partner did something wrong which is why you chose to lie.

Lies might also be a coping mechanism for low self-esteem or past trauma. Despite these short-term benefits, compulsive lying often backfires in the long run. A habitual liar may feel extreme stress from keeping track of their falsehoods. They may struggle to live up to their own claims.

“Apologizing” to Patients “Apology” does not have to mean an admission of wrongdoing or negligence. Rather, it can be an acknowledgment by the physician of shared regret over the outcome.

Mendacious. Probably the best fancy way to describe a liar is mendacious.

The three most commonly referred to are lies of commission, lies of omission, and lies of influence, aka character lies. The reading below neatly summarizes these and provides some examples.

How does a liar act when confronted? ›

When people lie and they are confronted with evidence that contradicts those lies, they may change their story or deny the truth altogether. They may also try to manipulate others to maintain their false story. Blaming others for their lies. They may try to deflect blame or shift responsibility onto others.

No matter if the lie was big or small, start by saying you're sorry. A simple, “I'm sorry I wasn't honest about that” will be more than enough. The longer and more elaborate the apology, the more insincere it will seem. Don' t make excuses or play blame games, accusing the other person for making you resort to lying.